How do relationships bring happiness to a child’s life?

By: - 4th April 2019

It is true that your little one has her own little community that she feels close to. There could be close relatives and others who are close to your family. However, most parents are not keen about enabling an environment needed for children to really get to know their friends and family. At about age 3, the child will feel the need for a community. As parents, it is important if you understand the light that will come to your child’s life through the connectedness she feels with a community...

The little darling who has been at home surrounded by love and full of delight is now ready to start the preschool journey. As she will be slowly adapting to the society, it is a good time to build relationships and form bonds with friends and family as well.

Back in the day when children who grow up with their grandfathers and grandmothers, they were much more mentally healthier than the children who grow up in day care centres these days, spending there the entire day after school while the parents are at work. The reason is that the grandparents or other relatives will make and effort to adapt according to the child’s requirements, playing with them and giving them full attention.

Back in the day, grandparents connected with their children’s world by engaging with them, playing, drawing, and other activities. Grandmother would sit with the child in the evening and show the rising stars and the moon. This gave the child a keen eye for the environment.

Grandma, please tell me a story The protection for the child

When a calf is born to an elephant herd, all the female elephants in the herd can produce breast milk. In the same way, when a child was born back in the day, the happiness and pride was shared by the entire family. The bond between immediate relatives was so strong that even the aunties in the family would nurse the child. If the mother has gone to the paddy fields or the river and the child starts to cry in hunger, it wasn’t powdered milk that they gave. The relationships were so full of love that the aunties did not mind sharing the breast milk they produce for their own children with a child not their own. This used to bring so much strength into the child’s life.

Great experiences

When a child grows up amongst a group of loving and protective friends and family, it creates a valuable environment in which the child can share many experiences. Those days, the parents were not glued to their smart phone screens like today. They never avoided answering the child’s curious questions. Children those days always had a stream of questions at the tip of their tongues such as where do the clouds go, how do flowers get their colour etc. Those days, children had people who would answer all their questions and listen to all they had to say. This gave the child the opportunity to easily share their experiences with others.

Support and strength…

A child feels safe when she grows up among a community of friends and an extended family beyond the confines of the micro-family of only mother and father. A child who hasn’t formed relationships beyond her micro-family is similar to a person lost in a desert. It can make them feel empty and lonely. On the other hand, a child who grows up developing strong bonds with friends and relatives will go onto become a person with a great personality because of the strength she receives from these bonds

Learns co-existence…

The child who grows up all alone is not accustomed to sharing. Even the relationships with immediate family could be weak and limited. Mobile phones and computers are damaging social relationships day by day. People have become so distant that even people who live physically close to each other would only connect through social media and not even want to visit their immediate neighbor. This habit trickles down to the child before you even know it. When mom and dad won’t even form a friendship with a neighbor, the child too does not learn to connect with the society.

Separated families of the today’s world

Unlike in the past, some families are so separated, and some of them do not even live in the country. This prevents the child from having the opportunity to get close to the relatives. It is important to allow an environment in which the child can connect with his tribe even if some relatives are physically distant. Otherwise, these relationships would fade without you even knowing. Even though it is sad to mention, this is important to discuss. In some families, children don’t build friendships even with their first cousins. Although they may be going to the same school and the same class, they don’t develop a sense of kinship. As parents, it is vital that you somehow nurture the relationships with your friends and family without allowing the children to feel lost and lonely.

Punya Chandani Silva.

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